Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
Randomize
