if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize
