I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
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