the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
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