i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
