is your mom at the bar?
think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
