Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Randomize
