we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
Randomize
