You don't have asthma, your pregnant
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
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