I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
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