wakey wakey hands off snakey
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
