redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
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