Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
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