In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
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