dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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