Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
