I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
