I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
The struggles of a small town man whore
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
Randomize
