I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
Randomize
