I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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