butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Randomize