Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
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