Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
