you guys were way drunker than both of me
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Randomize
