he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
