should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
