hotel room ftw
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
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