I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Randomize
