your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Randomize
