"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
Dude, I woke up in the kitchen, naked, with a blueberry bagel as a pillow.
Can I eat your pillow?
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
Holy shit dude........stairs
Randomize
