Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize
