i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
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