I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
Randomize
