Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
Randomize
