k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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