grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
It's blow job season.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
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