she kept yelling 'call me bella'
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
