Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
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