Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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