Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
Randomize
