so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
he just fucked me for my cheese.
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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