So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
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