the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
