So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize