Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
