please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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