the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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