When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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