Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
