Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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