You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Randomize
