Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Randomize
