True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
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