I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
i black out too much to be "responsible"
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
