I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
Randomize