We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
