He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
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