its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
Drunk is not a location!
i think i just lost a toe
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
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